American Idol commentary from a real fashionista

Good thing it's American Idol time or my date with the USCIS might have put me in a permanent tailspin. Nothing cheers me up like good trash tv (is "good trash tv" an oxymoron?). Before the recap, I have to apologize to TubaDad for pausing and rewinding the show so many times last night. It's just that it was imperative that I rebuke Kat for the weird bulges and VPL (visible panty line) in her dress, and I needed to ask Kellie (a few times) what she was thinking when she put on those tight ugly pegged-leg pants, and lastly I couldn't let the show go by without pointing out to TubaDad once or twice (Ok fine, it was 3 times) that Ryan and Elliott were dressed alike. I should mention that during this stunningly insightful couture commentary I was wearing my brother's castoff grey sweatpants, a huge t-shirt, and my 5-year-old ratty but much-loved leopard slippers. Yep, I've got "the eye" for fashion. Alright, here are my blatantly biased thoughtful opinions on the contestants, ranked from best to worst.

1. Chris. The boy sounded great, very intense (as usual), and the 2 guitarists on stage with him were awesome!
2. Elliott: Horrible public speaker but did a good job with the song, even though it seemed to run out of steam near the end. I like the way he sings but don't see any "it factor."
3. Paris: The song seemed a little low for her, although it's always amusing to see her different hairstyles each week. Heavy Z summed it up by letting out a jaw snappingly huge yawn right in the middle.
4. Taylor: Yikes, he sang almost the whole thing out of tune. I thought TubaDad was going to come out of his chair.
5. Kat: She seemed really awkward this time. Odd - I usually rate her #1 or 2. Maybe I just couldn't get past the wardrobe problems? Naw, I didn't like the song choice either. And MAN were the judges harsh. Ouch.
6. Kellie: Who is voting for her?! Come on, you must confess. We won't mock you (heh). The hair, the outfit, the desperate searching for the pitch, ahhhhhhh my ears my eyes make it stop.

Well off to go have some Cheerios for breakfast. They won't be as good as whatever Paula was on last night, but they make me smile.