Not fit to parent

I was almost asleep when this insidious thought crossed my mind: I have not had a vegetable all week! Not one single, lousy green thing. In fact, the last vegetable I had was at the dinner my mom cooked for us last Saturday. I am not even kidding. Do they even let people who don't eat vegetables become parents? I. Don't. Think. So. I bet that's why we don't have our i-171H yet from the INS. Somehow they know.