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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Pick a battle, any battle

Do you see that hat on Ree's head? That was Battle #13 today, and the only battle that I can honestly say I won. I'll set the scene for ya: It was a chilly and breezy morning. Ro has a cold and is spewing snot like a banana slug, and since the girls share everything that can be sucked/chewed/mouthed or sipped, I know Ree is next. I put the girls in warm little sweaters and told them they could go outside if they wore hats to keep their heads warm. If you're laughing at me for talking to 16-month-olds like they understand, well you should know that as soon as we got outside Ro pulled her hat off, but when I said "do you want to go back in the house?" slammed it back on her head. Oh they understand. They understand everything... Anyhow... Ree kept ripping her hat off, so I would pick her up saying "if you won't wear your hat you have to stay in the house," then I'd carry her inside, close the sliding glass door and stand outside with Ro. Ree would wail, press herself against the door, and demand to be let back outside. After about 30 seconds I'd open the door, put the hat back on and let her back outside saying "blah blah hat blah blah blah" (I'm sure you get the picture). This went on 5 or 6 times. I was losing my tenuous grasp on my sanity and ready to just take them both back inside, when suddenly Ree gave in and left the damn hat on. Maybe she decided I was serious? Maybe she got tired of being inside while Ro was outside playing? Maybe she just forgot the hat was there? Oh who knows - the important thing is that I WON a battle today. Whoooohooooooo. I'm king of the world. High as a kite. Triumphant! Look out world, I'm feeling so cocky I might even try to cook something for dinner tonight. Oh, in case you're curious, here are the battles (times two) I did NOT win today. Not winning is defined as either giving up, moving the object in question, losing my patience and yelling, or going to the cupboard and sucking down a chocolate truffle while talking to myself and waving my hands in the air: 1. Don't smear your greasy buttery hands and chunks of lunch into your hair 2. Don't paint the floor with your milk instead of drinking it 3. Don't try to rip chunks out of your shoes with your teeth (while you're wearing them) 4. Don't pull the top off the humidifier and splash water everywhere 5. Don't shove your hand down the back of your diaper 6. Don't grab for the poop while I'm changing your diaper 7. Don't shove both arms into the diaper pail 8. Don't repeatedly crack your sister over the head with your recorder 9. Don't hang on my legs while I'm trying to move around the kitchen 10. Don't shove handfuls of sand into your mouth 11. Don't put small windpipe-sized pebbles all the way in your mouth 12. Don't take your sister's cracker and make her scream I'm sure there were more but I'm too tired to think anymore. The girls are napping and I've collapsed on the couch with some Easy Listening playing on the radio. No joke. PS: This post was originally titled "Why is mommy drinking?" (kidding, kidding!) but I changed it to the tamer version you see up there. Don't want my mom hyperventilating when she clicks on my blog. Also I had a nice sunshiney post and new pics of the cuties almost ready to go in the wee hours this morn (a little insomnia) but it got pre-empted after this afternoon's events with the lil' angels. I'll post it a little later when I've recovered my equanimity.