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Thursday, April 9, 2009

Had a tough day with the girls today

It was just one of those days. You know, the kind where you sit down at the end of the day and you're frazzled, worn out, and disgusted with yourself? I stunk at the whole motherhood thing today. The girls were wild and out of control. But that's neither here nor there. The problem was in my reactions. I was snappy, loud, impatient, controlling, and angry. And the girls fed on it. They got more and more wound up and pushed more and more of my buttons until I finally just loaded them in the car and started driving. I knew that despite the rain we had to get out of the house and go do something, or else. Ree said we should go see the Easter Bunny, so I pointed the car toward a mall and that's just what we did.

So excited to see the Easter Bunny!

They were in awe of the bunny and on their best behavior. Cute, huh? But the good behavior ended when we pulled back into the garage. Once home, they were even more hyper than before. Screaming with laughter, ignoring everything I said, hanging on each other until they fell down, throwing clothes and toys all over the place. You name it. They had been singing a whole bunch of really cute songs about the rain on the drive home, so when we arrived, I whipped out the purse cam and tried to record them for my mom. Yeah, like that was going to happen. They were practically vibrating with energy.



They just kept getting wilder, so I gave up on the video thing, and did the only thing that helps when they get like this. I separated them. Ro went into her room and Ree into hers and I told them to get ready for bed and stood in the hall until I was calmer. Then I walked back and forth between their rooms adjusting pajamas, brushing teeth, etc. I said goodnight to both and told them tomorrow would be a better day. And I know it will, for all of us. It's a new day, right? And no matter what happens, I will do better.

61 comments:

  1. Oh, I so have days like this, too. I'm sure you did fine. They ARE still alive, after all. :)

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  2. Oh.. it's been a week from hell this week with my niece. I couldn't imagine two of them. Gah.

    I called my mom (Grandma!) and told her I was going to box her up and mail her back. I said after the week I've had, I probably wouldn't even poke holes in it! She laughed, I cried.

    Hang in there! :-)

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  3. Some days are like that! Tomorrow will be better. {Hugs}

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  4. Wow, it's like you were in my home today! I too had a rough day, because SS acted like Taz on crack. She finally fell asleep, and I am doing some serious soul searching. I must admit that I should have reacted better. My days of functioning without sleep are definitely over. Then, I received the e-mail announcing your new post, looked at the tittle, and sorry, but I had to chuckle.

    Cut yourself some slack, I can't imagine having twins (as much as I love SS). Also, you took action and got them out of the house. A breather never hurts. :) And like TM noted, they are alive. ;)

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  5. Oh, but they're laughing, and giggling, and having grand fun! It can get crazy-making, but it's not as bad as when they're in full-on meltdown mode, right?

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  6. I think you just need to cut back on their vodka martinis at lunch.

    Or start giving them vodka martinis at lunch.

    Try both and see which one works.

    What?

    ~C~

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  7. Even though I didn't understand a word what they said (reminds me of Emma) except for the rain song, I think they were REALLY cute! The giggles are the best but it does sucks when you want them to do something and they don't (Emma was a pro on that.)

    I honestly thought you were going to show a video of the girls crying but they were so happy and laughing and even SINGING! Come on! You are a great Mom!

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  8. Anonymous4/10/2009

    lol i been reading your blog for years
    your girls do seem a bit over-energetic

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  9. I've often been heard chanting the phrase "Kindergarten Countdown" since Caroline starts in August.

    I had a day like that yesterday. Not one of my better mommy days. I had a lot on my mind and was short, angry, and ill-tempered. It is hard not to be when you are trying to think something through and your thought pattern is constantly interrupted by loud chatter in your ear.

    Thankfully, today was much better.

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  10. Michelle4/10/2009

    Give yourself a break, you are a great mum and only human... I was just wondering the other day if you had days like this (cause I sure do) and I'm happy to hear that you do... that makes you normal.

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  11. It was a full moon. This is normal. I had about 600 of them y esterday on bus duty that all acted like that. So it was just the moon doing it to them!
    Or at least that is my explanation.

    I think next time calls for a longer road trip! LOL

    Hope you got some rest last night.

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  12. I've been there and ahve felt like that and I only have one at the moment. I can only imagine what it will be like when #2 comes home. I sure hope you indulged in some of your secret stash of chocolate once they were in bed.

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  13. Anonymous4/10/2009

    Been following your blog for awhile now and your girls seem very out of control 90% of the time ... you seem more like a sitter than a mother to them ... sometimes your "never may care", feed them chocolate and bacon and all is well attitude makes me wonder!

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  14. I just read the 4:09 AM anonymous comment and one would think that if somebody was going to be so rude, they could at least sign their name.

    I love your blog. It brings a smile to my face many mornings. Your girls are adorable! I have two little girls from China who are 3 years apart and they too can get very rowdy at times so I know how you feel. Your doing a great job. Ro and Ree seem like two very happy little girls.

    Happy Easter... Kim

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  15. Oh, Anonymous, you troll. Always charming and helpful. :-)

    Anyways, just wanted to offer a virtual pat on the back (and maybe glass of wine). I've had a number of those days recently. They're stressful when they're going on, and you feel like crap when they're done. Ugh. We all have our off-days.

    I hope it gets better!

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  16. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone ... we've all been there. The one thing that I personally experience with our twins is that they feed off each other and while it's all fun and games for them, there are times that it drives us parents to the brink! Be happy!

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  17. I can identify with this post....I have days like this too....tomorrow will be better....maybe you should dive into those easter baskets a little early....some chocolate to ease the pain!

    Have a Happy Easter!

    Lisa

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  18. Mary Mia, never fear... we all have those days, even those of us with one child! Don't beat yourself up. You're a great mom.

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  19. Crap! I used your name. Sorry M3! If I could delete I would.

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  20. OK, that anonymous comment has me boiling. I have read your blog since the beginning--I'm just not much of a commenter. I think of you as "super mom," and I read your post today thinking, "Hooray--she's human like me!" I think that your girls are just terrific, and so are you! Children are little barometers on rainy days...you can visit any elementary classroom to see that. That's just how it goes...

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  21. I've found myself having more and more days like this since Esther's little brother was born. I think Esther's craziness is in direct correlation to the stress I feel with trips to the hospital and such. She feels what I feel and acts out.

    Just like you, I've found that Momma & kiddo time outs(and a few minutes apart) work and help best. (((HUGS)))

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  22. Anonymous4/10/2009

    have they eaten something that contained caffeine (like chocolate)it makes you go hyper sometimes

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  23. Being a mom to twins is awesome - most of the time, and I completely relate to your post. I feel this way sometimes and get upset with myself when I do, like why can't I just go with it? But the power of two cannot be underestimated! They will WEAR YOU DOWN. There is no logic that will work, no reasoning with them. It's just a day and days like this pass...hang in there and break yourself off a big piece of chocolate and breathe :)

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  24. M3, I've been following your blog for quite some time, I am the mom to7 year old twin girls from China, home 9 months. Your videos are how my girls act occassionally too, it is exhausting and wearing. I've told gramma and grampa NO MORE sugar, as it is like "Crack cocaine" and gets them wound up, silly, jumping on each other, endless loud pushing. Ahhhh..thank goodness for the "next day". thanks for sharing your days, all your days, with us!

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  25. Wow, some anonymous comment! Trust me, you are not alone in the trenches. You are a REAL mom, and I so appreciate your transparency and honesty. "Anonymous" probably doesn't have any children.

    Now for my originally intended comment...I've read that low pressure systems can cause erratic behavior in children and adults alike. Maybe the rain made them crazy for more than one reason?? I've found it to be true in my house. BUT I watched the videos and thought they were darling and hilarious and NORMAL. Any kid that is 100 percent controllable all the time is not normal and probably not happy. I'm just sayin...

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  26. I LOVE LOVE LOVE your Blog. I love how honest you are with your posts! You are a fabulous Mother and your girls have thrived in all the love and attention you have showered them with. Everyone has those days, the difference is you don't pretend and hide behind the provential rose garden. I know you will dust yourself off and today will be an awesome day!
    Thanks for being so real it makes me feel like I am normal when I have those frustrating days. As far as the Coward-Anonymous ignore him while he takes the log out of his eye!!
    I love the Easter Bunny Photo! Have a funtastis day today!!
    Ellen

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  27. I have words for that 4:09 commenter, but they don't fit with my Christian lifestyle goals, so I'll just be quiet about that.

    Moving on... my girls get like that too - louder, more giggly, just plain silly. I think I should be enjoying it but it just makes everything worse when you are at the end of your rope. You did great - sent them to bed, it's what I do to!
    Today will be a whole new day - a better day for sure :)

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  28. ((hugs)) mamma. Days when the kids have energy and we don't are super, super tough. Wish I lived closer so that I could just give you time to get out and do whatever you wanted....sit quietly at Starbucks with a coffee, pedi (which I need replaced...wanna go?), wander the mall. Whatever would work sweet friend. Love you tons. xoxo

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  29. ps - just remembered, full moon last night. I'm sure this has an affect on people. Was praying for Grandpa and his 1 on 1 nurse last night. Haven't heard how his night went yet.

    Wonder if your girls were gearing up for the full moon night? Hope they slept well for you and that today is better.

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  30. Anonymous4/10/2009

    M3,
    I never wrote before but read daily.
    My girls are 10, 7 and 6.
    Thanks for sharing reality.
    (Anonymous probably doesn't have kids).
    I have had days like that. Am convinced kids need to learn I am human and not some kind of cartoon. This week my meanness resulted in acquiring two new dishwashers ( the little ones)so how bad could it have been for them to know I had had enough? We have emotions for a reason.

    As for what to do, I am not like some Moms and really don't enjoy the frenzied silliness much. If they don't listen , they separate and find something quiet to do.
    When they were 3 and 4, it was even more challenging. Give yourself a break . But the strategy you used might be put to use earlier next time? If your kids are like mine there will be many next times
    J4
    I

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  31. I've been there too! You and your girls are just terrific. The thing I try to remind myself when I don't parent as well as I would like is that every day is a new chance to do better. I think you did great and the girls don't look like they have any residual "stuff" from your actions, so be kinder to yourself.
    Hugs from a single Mama to 2 girls,
    Debra

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  32. I don't comment often on the blog, but I do read it daily...but I had to mention that 'anonymous' comment. Wow, I can't believe that someone have the nerve to do something like that. Who are they to pass judgement on you (or anyone)?

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  33. I just sat here and laughed and laughed. They are so adorable:)

    When you said I finally locked them in the car..I REALLY LAUGHED..then I read where you got in to:):):)

    The Bunny picture is too CUTE!!!

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  34. Thank you for sharing everything. You put yourself out there with honesty and someone doesn't have the guts to sign their name when they share their honesty. That just sucks in my honest opinion. So, please ignore their comment.

    Joan

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  35. I feel like that a lot of days. Especially this week since there was no preschool.

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  36. Oh days like that are tough, sorry that you had to endure. Must be the phase of the moon or something as Maisie has been wired lately too and yesterday was a day just like yours. I put Maisie to bed at 6PM and I was sleeping by 7 as she had done me in! Hoping that today is better for all of you.

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  37. I had real doubts about my parenting abilities on Monday and Tuesday this week (o.k., more doubts than usual!). Maybe it's just the week for our kids to test us. I have learned some things that don't work with my daughter but still fall into the same trap of trying to use them sometimes because it's logical. Maybe one day I'll learn!

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  38. Anonymous4/10/2009

    M3-Anon. is horrible and wrong! You are the best mom ever! You inspire me to be a fun and loving mom. The girls have a fab life with you guys and you have given them a great educ. too. The vid. with the syllables was inspiring. Your girls are polite, smart, and loving. YOU have made that happen. I've been reading since the wait and my 3yr g.from China wants to read it every day. We are all so greatful for the mom you are. Don't let one crazy person get to you. I certainly wouldn't want to be that commenter's child. Have a great, FUN, loving day.

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  39. Anonymous4/10/2009

    I look at your blog every day, and you peaple are so darn FUN, I love looking at your blog, it alwas make me smile! M3 you are an awesome mom!
    I have no idea what the heck Anonymus 4:09 AM was talking about. That made me mad, because your girls seem to be WONDERFUL!
    ~Thank you so much for having a blog and sharing it with us. :D
    ~Rachael~

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  40. Anonymous4/10/2009

    The above anon. comment was mine not, not creepy Anon. 4:09.
    Lisa P

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  41. Hey you're human....yep, just another day in the trenches. Personally, I'm considering getting one of these...
    http://www.amazon.com/Rocket-USA-Bozo-Bop-Bag/dp/B00067TAWG/ref=tag_tdp_ptcn_edpp_url
    ....and for me not my daughter. Ha. I figure a little Bozo workout, a glass (OK, maybe 2) of wine, and a BIG bag of chocolate after R goes to bed on one of those crazy days, and all will be well once again.
    Today is a new day.
    Have a lovely holiday weekend.
    M.

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  42. Oh M3- I am sorry. Some days you just want to give up the parenting gig and hide at a spa. Okay, somedays I just want to do that!

    Give your self a small break. Life is short and the girls will calm... HUGS

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  43. Hugs M3! Today is a better day and hopefully the rain will be gone and all of our cell phones will work again. Hugs.

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  44. I'm so sorry M3. I've had days like that too. And then the guilt. Maybe it's me, but I feel like since we worked so hard to get our baby that I shouldn't EVER have bad, impatient mother moments like this. That after waiting and trying for so many years that I'd ALWAYS be patient and kind and loving. While I am those things most of the time, there are days where I just lose it.

    It's just such an unrealistic expectation I place on myself, yanno? Like you, I say it's a new day tomorrow and I can start fresh. Thank God these kiddos are so willing to forgive and still love us. ;-)

    Hang in there. Today will be better.

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  45. I remember these moments with my twin girls. They still have moments like this and they are 11! Now that I think about it, they probably are tired when it happens. I'll have to send them to bed next time and see. ;) I love new days. . .a new chance to be a better me. You'll do great!

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  46. Anonymous4/10/2009

    It happens. We all have bad days. It seems as if after a bad situation or day I re-examine what I could have done differently. It's how we grow as mothers. Hugs to you.

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  47. Geesh, I had the same day, minus the trip to the Easter Bunny and the freaky thing is i thought about you and how you handle two every single day with such decorum.
    Today was better...a stellar day in fact.

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  48. I know I'm late responding here, but I wasn't online yesterday much at all.

    I laughed out loud at Anon's comment(and I commend you for posting. I would have deleted it).
    I love(not) how people judge other people by stuff they read on a blog. Crazy.

    Sorry you had such a bad day. I'm sure today is already much better. And I am loving the Easter Bunny pic. So cute!

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  49. It was a FULL moon !!!!!!!! I can always tell when the moon is full based on my kiddies behavior and my lack of patience !!

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  50. I have had those days, too. Trust me--you are perfectly normal, as are your girls. :-) Somehow, the next day always turns out better.

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  51. The anonymous comment at 4:09am was clearly written by someone who doesn't know M3, or how things really work at our house. Maybe anonymous needs to find another blog to read...

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  52. I was just going to write exactly what tuba dad did... Clearly that stupid person doesn't know anything about this family...and must not have kids themselves.... Get a life...

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  53. Oh my God. Sounds like you are describing one of my days. I have been following your blog and sometimes wonder how do you survive everyday. I have two girls. Older one just like your girls. High energy, never stops, sweet and charming, yet exhausting at the same time. I often have one of those days just thinking I sucks at being a mom. Of course we all have those days. Then, when they come to you with biggest smile on their face and tell you they love you. It makes all better.

    Hang in there! :)

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  54. Thank you thank you thank you for talking about your tough day. It makes me feel so much better to know I'm not the only one who has days like this.

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  55. Anonymous4/10/2009

    The good news is: as one day ends, another one will start afresh.

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  56. Oh my....I am shocked to read some of these comments. Your girls are healthy, happy and wonderful. We have four kids and we follow your blog daily. My husband often says it's too bad you don't live closer as it sounds like we could be great friends. You are a fantastic mom who shares her life with us all. We love your honesty and sense of humor and can relate to it. Parenting is a work in progress and you do a great job with it. It's hard work being a stay at home mom and I think you handle it very well. We all have bad days.....the anonymous comments saying your girls are often out of control should come spend a day at my house. It is so normal and someday we will miss this chaos!! (I am sure of it!!!) We are very lucky to have such joy in our homes!!! Keep up the great work and we LOVE the girls' energy!!!!

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  57. Tough days...oh yeah I have seen a few too! You are in good company sweets. You do your best and your best is phenominal!!

    Hugs
    Lori

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  58. LOL at 4:09 Anon. The above posters are right ...she/he or shim is a troll.

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  59. Whew, thank goodness I am not the only one who has those days! Nice to know you do too. It is tough when they are cooed up due to bad weather.

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  60. Don't be so hard on yourself. From what I can tell, you are an awesome mom. Blame it on the full moon!

    Lynn (mom to Grace)

    Check us out at http://www.howdoyoumeasureayear.blogspot.com

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  61. Anonymous4/13/2009

    Interesting article in today's WSJ, so be careful what you you post. :-)

    http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123958114341312173.html#mod=todays_us_page_one

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