How do they make babies?
When TubaDad was traveling last week, Ro hit me up with our first “How do they make babies” question. Totally unprepared to answer, I neatly deflected (or so I thought) with “Your father has a GREAT answer to that question – ask him when he gets home.” I thought she’d forget all about it, but no such luck. Apparently she cornered TubaDad after he arrived home and wanted her answer. He gave a nice high-level what-is-a-five-year-old-really-asking answer and, again, I thought we were home free. Yeah... not so much... At the bookstore yesterday, Ro informed me that “Daddy only gave me a summary, I want the details!” Heh. Has anyone run into this with your kiddos yet? Please share your stellar answers (good or bad, because you know I need a laugh!)
Good enough
All kindergarten parents recently had to fill out heart-shaped cards with love notes to their children and “special” decorations (such as glitter, stickers, or photos, according to the instructions). Sounds great in theory, but I forgot all about the notes until 10 minutes before school on the morning they were due. Gah!!! Ransacked the office, found the heart papers, scribbled oh-so-meaningful-but-really-brief notes, and ran a pink crayon quickly over the background. I handed them to the girls and we started running for the car. In mid-step Ro looked at hers and screeched “Maaaaaamaaaaaa, it’s not even pretty!!” but Ree checked hers and said matter-of-factly “Mama, it’s good enough.” That’s my girl!
New clothes
Ro and Ree are funny about clothes. They can spot something new in their closet within seconds of stepping inside. And it’s a reeeeeeally big closet. (Someday I’ll post a pic of it, but I’m afraid the blog commenter who was appalled by how many shoes the girls have might just fall over dead from a heart attack.) Anyhow, I got some darling white skirts at the Children’s Place, and snuck them upstairs Monday night, and sure enough Ro and Ree skipped downstairs on Tuesday morning proudly sporting the lace swishies and proclaiming that these were their new fave skirts (they’re kind of in love with anything white right now). (I used a funky preset on these two pics called “golden girl” to give them a sort of retro, sunny look):
Love all the suggestions for a new header, thank you!! I’m going to attempt a fashion friday one first, as so many folks suggested. So stay tuned. The wild-but-totally-Ro-and-Ree outfits that came giggling down the stairs today were so, so perfect for this that I grabbed the camera and snapped away. Here’s a small sneak preview with one of the photos that didn’t make the cut. Oh, and we all love the Choco Taco idea that was submitted (plus they are delish), so I’m thinking that concept will have to be made into a header next!
Blog problems
Thank you also for all the comments and info about who can see the blog and what you’re using to view it. (There were some browsers in there that I’d never even heard of, by the way -- must try out Google Chrome, it sounds intriguing.) I was hoping there would be a huge, obvious hole in reporting, so I could easily pinpoint a problem, but that wasn’t the case. So I’ll be using all the info you gave and doing more troubleshooting.
Posts
I would not be appalled by the shoes or the clothes, and I would really like to see. I figure, I'm an older mom, I waited a long time for our little Abby, and I make a good living. If I want to spoil her with clothes, then there is nothing wrong with it. At this point in her life it's more about what I want for her anyway.
ReplyDeleteI figure as long as our children are grateful, generous, and not rotten, it's perfectly ok!
I meant to comment on the can you see the blog but we've had no issues using Safari on the Mac,iphones, or Droid. No help on the babies thing tho, our little E4 is only 4.
ReplyDeleteOk. As a K teacher, I have always just been pretty honest with my daughter and those questions. You would never believe what kids tell me. So I told her mommy's and daddy's love each other, kiss and hug and GOd does the rest. My daughter knows about periods... Come on, what do you do when you are in public and need to change something... Maybe my daughter is nosy or more curious. I just figure short and sweet and get to the point.. you can add more later...
ReplyDeleteChristy, mama to Wen who is 7
Caboz74@yahoo.com
When my daughter was in K and asked, I went with the basic "it takes a special egg from the mommy and a special seed from the daddy and together they grow into a baby." I then distracted her by telling her the baby doesn't grow in the mom's tummy but in a special place called the uterus. She became so focused on asking questions about if she has a uterus and where her uterus was she never bothered to ask how the 'egg and seed' get together.
ReplyDeleteoh- and a funny story related to my above comment- when my sister first used the word uterus with her young son he shuddered and said "wow- that's a scary sounding word, sounds like a weapon 'don't make me made or I'll have to use my uterus!' " "yep" she said- "and don't you forget that!"
ReplyDeleteWhen we were driving home one evening my daughter caught me off guard with a similar question. We knew someone who was pregnant and my daughter who was 4 at the time wanted to know how the baby was going to get out. "Does the baby dig its way out of the tummy?" I said, "no, it has a special opening it comes out". She says "where is that, through her mouth?", No, I said, lower. She kind of chuckles and said does it come out of her butt? No, I couldn't decide how detailed I wanted to get with the answer. Then she says, does it come out of her pee, pee? I said well pretty much, yeah. She said "does it hurt? Yes, it does. Her response was "oh no, oh no, MY baby is coming from China!".
ReplyDeleteThose skirts are gorgeous! I'm gonna have to go check them out and order a pair for my girls. Chloe is totally into white (and B/W) right now.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to that new header!
Appalled blogger needs to understand that you are shoeing TWO babies, it just LOOKS like a lot!
ReplyDeleteAside from that no princess has a SMALL closet and you, again, have TWO twincesses.
and aside from THAT; what five year old understands the difference between a 'summary' and 'details'????
i'm glad i wasn't eating or drinking on that one!
i'm sorry for you!
There are some really great books-- it's Not The Stork or It's So Amazing (and It's Perfectly Normal) depending on how much detail you want to share. I lovelovelove those books! (well, I've only read It's Perfectly Normal, with "my" ten-year-old, and it's terrific.) I can't possibly be more of an advocate of these books-- fun, down to earth, honest, and a good way to start these conversations. A good book for parents to kids of all ages is Everything You Never Wanted Your Kids to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid They'd Ask).
ReplyDeleteMen have ingredients and women have ingredients, just like cooking. When you mix those ingredients, they make a baby! Just like when you mix the ingredients into batter that makes a cupcake!
ReplyDeleteWhen/if they ask how, since mine are 4 and 6 and just a little too curious about each others bits as it is ( girl and boy) I just say that that's not an appropriate conversation to have with them right now, and quickly change the subject. I'm waiting for the boy to hit first grade age.. interestingly, though, they do know how babies are born... so maybe that "how" conversation isn't as far off as I think...
Amelia has been asking questions since she was ~3. I gave her honest answers without all the details; everything age appropriate and correct terminology without including how the baby actually gets in the uterus.
ReplyDeleteThen last year she started asking more questions, then dropped the big one, "but how does the baby get IN the uterus?" So I told her. She was 7 at the time.
A later conversation veered into whether you need to me married to have sex and/or children and I said, "no, sometimes women get pregnant by accident." And she replied, "Wouldn't you feel a penis was in your vagina?"
I second the suggestion for It's Not the Stork, my 8 year old has loved this book since she was five.
ReplyDeleteI initially gave the "two people get very close to each other..." vague answer as to how a baby is made but my daughter then became paranoid about boys sitting too near her on the playground and one night ended up in tears over possibly being pregnant. So I put all of the detail right out there and she was SO relieved.
Check out the website birdsandbeesandkids.com
Google Chrome is the best. (I'm only a little biased.)
ReplyDeleteMy 3 year old is asking about babies, but it stems more from her seeing me go through fertility treatments.
Also love the skirts! I guess it's time to make a trip to the mall!
S & H have been asking about babies lately, too. The mother of their buddy at school is pregant and their friend got to bring in an ultrasound of the little-sister-in-process, which fueled the girls' interest in the subject to no end.
ReplyDeleteOn the drive home from school that afternoon the Cupcakes asked how and where the baby will "pop out" of the mommy's tummy. I told them, in age-appropriate terms, where the baby would make her exit. There was silence for about 5 seconds, then from the back of the car came: "Mama, that doesn't sound right."
"Baby, we all feel that way."
BTW, after I told our family doctor about this little exchange she suggested I tell them that the area in question "is like a balloon, very stretchy". It was good advice. The girls seem a little less... disbelieving now.
It must be something in the air re: babies and pregnancy. My 4 yr old twin girls and I were at the mall yesterday and the lady who helped me in one store was very pregnant...and wearing a stretchy t-shirt which accented it. Both my girls were fascinated by the her "big belly" as they called it because she was the first pregnant women they've seen...or at least noticed. When she explained that there was a baby in there, they asked to see it. She very politely explained that it was still cooking - which I thought for sure would get a good response - and that the baby wasn't ready to come out yet. They kept touching her belly very gently. I kept waiting for them to ask me if that's how they started. The question is bound to come, but not yesterday.
ReplyDeleteOn a side note, I joined Zulily yesterday. Did Ree and Ro model for the site? Sure looks like them in a few places.
Now that I'm pregnant and she can feel the baby move, Emily asked me who was going to help me get the baby out of my tummy. I told her I would go to a hospital and Daddy and a doctor would be there to help. She then asked if it came out my belly button. So I told her no, it came out thru a special hole Mommies have called a birth canal. She thought that was gross, so it's stopped the questions. For now. So far, she hasn't asked how the baby got in there in the first place. But it's coming. It's totally coming. I'd go to the library and see if they have any age appropriate books. That might help. It's my backup plan if it comes to that with Em.
ReplyDeleteI read this aloud to my husband and he said "oh they never forget" LOL. And for the record little girls can never have enough shoes!
ReplyDeleteWhy not just tell them the truth, short (since they are still young) but real. After all, to have sex to make babies is totally normal and natural! Plus, kissing and hugging can not be the answer, since that's also not how babies are made.
ReplyDeleteOh and I agree, girls can never have too many shoes! :)
Greetings from Finland, Europe
Maria
We have never tried to dodge these questions, just give age-appropriate answers (like the seed from the daddy and the egg from the mommy getting together.) If they want "details," I give them: the daddy's penis goes in the mommy's vagina. When my 3-year-old son asked for that level of detail recently and I told him, his answer was "Hee hee, you said penis," so it's not like a big lost innocence thing!
ReplyDeleteThere is a wonderful book called, "Where Did I Come From". It gives all the facts in a way that a 5 year old can understand and has cartoon pictures of pretty much everything. I think your Grey's Anatomy loving girls would love it. I think I was in 1st grade when my mom read it with me after I asked the big question. They have it on Amazon for $9.95 with free shipping :)
ReplyDeleteHappy happy birthday M3 and TubaDad! I hope you both have wonderful days.
ReplyDeleteHope your having a great birthday week (We have weeks here - days are just toooooo short.)
ReplyDeleteWhat a hoot - summary to details. You are in such trouble. Can't help you there. Believe it or not but Dahlia doesn't seem to need to know. She knows how they come out but not how they got in there.
We are not at that point yet, Lil' Buddy is only one. We plan on handling it the same way our parents did though- if the child is old enough to ask, they are old enough for (an age appropriate) answer. Also, this blog had some good info on the topic!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.livingwiththreeboys.com/2011/02/lets-talk-about-sex-baby.html
Glad to know TubaDad is well rehearsed on answering this question now. When the time arises I'll hit speed dial to your place and hand the phone to Hannah. Thanks TD!! :o)
ReplyDeleteHannah's daycare provider is pregnant but I'm pretty sure she's too young to notice much. It will be interesting to see if she even notices. Thankfully she's too young to ask any questions. Phew!!
We answer the tough questions by asking them what they think the answer is. This is a good way to find out what they know, or think they know and what they really want to know.
ReplyDeleteThey make some great books that help answer the questions too.
Girls are fun, the clothes, shoes and socks are a blast for mom and daughter too. Enjoy!
Mary Mia,
ReplyDeleteApril asked me months ago about this and I told her I'd get a book. I finally got it a few weeks ago and I read it to her cover to cover (with the exception of one part she doesn't need to know yet - masturbation). She knows all the proper words and she laughed and giggled, but honest is truly the best policy. I will get you the name of the book a little later as I'm on the way out now. I didn't want April not knowing the right stuff - or having some other child tell her made up stuff and the wrong things.
Ilene
Just read the post and all the comments. I tend to work at just answering the question asked. i.e. Does it hurt when the baby comes out? Yes it does, but the doctor is there to help with the pain.
ReplyDeleteOn a drive recently, a friend's 6yo said "i'm never having a baby - it hurts" and I hear my daughter lean over and whisper to her "no, no, you just have to go to China like my mom did"
funny - be careful what you say . . . One day my daughter asked if she could have a sister. I shot off "not until I win the lottery." D'oh! It comes up regularly now, "you didn't win the lottery again? No sister." "mom, can you please buy a lottery ticket so I can have a sister?"
ReplyDeleteAnyone's kids taken the honest answer to the next level yet?
ReplyDeleteAs in "so who's penis was in my birth mother's vagina?" or "who's seed" - seems a slippery slope at 4 - 6 years old.
We haven't had any questions about a Birth Father yet at all, just the Birth Mother - and that was quite a painful 'aha' for my 5 year old.