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Monday, May 15, 2006

Tougher than I thought

Wow, Mother's Day hit me a little harder than I expected. Did anyone breeze through it? I thought we could hit the road, have fun, and just forget about the painful significance of the day, but apparently there isn't enough road out there to escape this one. Lots of people (wonderful, awesome people) said to celebrate the day because I'm already a mom in my heart, and your good wishes meant so much. I took them to heart and really did try. But to be completely honest I don't feel like a mom, and probably won't until we're looking at a picture of Funshine. I try to be positive and feel hopeful and excited and "momlike," but some weeks are harder than others. Right now it just feels too intangible. Too tenuous. Like it could still not happen for some reason. I'm sure next week will be better. If there's one thing I've learned during this process, it's that everything is cyclical. My moods have more ups and downs than the Tatsu rollercoaster at Magic Mountain. (Yeah, it's a real treat for TubaDad...) While waiting for the upswing, I'm amusing myself by feeding the funny quail in my backyard (4 today, including this little cutie!), reading about all the cool people in China right now meeting their babies (10 of them are listed in the sidebar), and picking a winner for the "Someday" poetry contest (Tony & Rett). Tony & Rett wrote:
Someday we'll kiss her first boo-boo Someday we'll cry on her first day of school Someday we'll hang her handprint on the fridge Someday we'll sit on the couch and talk about her birthmom Someday we'll shop for a prom dress Someday TubaDad will be playing tuba at her wedding And someday, we'll wish she was young all over again
Love it! Thanks to everyone for the great entries, it was really hard to pick a winner since they all made us smile. Tony & Rett, please email me to say which item you'd like (any button, magnet, or sticker from the store) and where you'd like it sent. By the way, the margaritas were excellent, and we had Mexican food on Friday night and twice on Sunday. I think even TubaDad got his fill of chips and salsa this weekend.