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Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Thank you

My husband has only seen me cry twice. I'm SO not a crier. But I bawled today. Right after I got confirmation that we missed the cutoff by a day. And then every time I heard from one of you. The love and support flowing into our house through email, blog comments, and the phone lines are just overwhelming. To each and every one of you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Realistically I know it's not the end of the world, it's just (another) delay. And this crappy feeling will pass and we'll get on with being excited. But for now it's just so painful. The analytical part of my brain demands to know why it hurts so much this month. And I think it's because we got our hopes up. For the first time in 6 or 7 months we felt a little giddy, a little happy, like we were actually close. We dared to feel excited, we recklessly smiled, we made plans (and lists!). So the announcement today just crushed us, and we're kind of fumbling around trying to get back to solid ground. This recent picture was taken when things looked so bright. In the next week or so I'll be working on finding that smile again. In the meantime, congratulations and much love to my friends who will be seeing your kiddo's faces for the first time this week. I wish we could have shared some chips and salsa in china, but I know that you will have such an amazing trip, and I'll be with you in spirit, cheering you on every step of the way. So come on stork, bring those referrals! PS: after today's news, the self portrait below has been titled: "NO Salsa in China..." Thanks Sylvie for the winning suggestion.