The cutest video in the world, until it goes wrong, horribly wrong

We're on vacay in Avila Beach. Tubadad has a gig down here and the whole family tagged along to make a party out of it. We're having a blast so far. Here are a few pics (in a slideshow, sorry, the rooftop deck is calling my name and I've gotta make this fast). Besides, does anyone even want to see pictures, or do you just want to watch that video? There's a really, really cute pic of the girls holding hands and jumping into the waves: (view thumbnails, pics with captions, or direct link to slideshow) Alright, alright, here's the video. When you watch it, please picture the sounds of birds chirping and beautiful music playing for the first three times they run to the water, and then picture one of those screeching noises when you drag the needle over a record. Don't worry, you'll know exactly when to insert that noise. Heh. PS: The girls are fine, and can't wait to run in the waves tomorrow, although Ro sagely said "Maybe tomorrow I wear da swimsuit, mama." Stroke of luck that I didn't chuck that video camera into the sand when it happened, by the way -- I think I was kinda rooted to the ground in disbelief. And oh my goodness we're all horrible, terrible, awful people, but we watched that video over and over after the girls went to bed and cannot stop laughing. It is classic!! I think my mom just snorted. PSPS: Thanks for the fun entries and comments on Fashion Challenge Friday! We'll do it again next Friday, so make sure to have your kiddos dress themselves at least once this week and take a cool pic of it to post on Friday.

Fashion Challenge Day 5: They pulled out the big guns this time

This last day of the fashion challenge just might be my favorite yet. It's been a blast watching the girls pick outfits all week, but today they really cut loose -- rolling pants for a custom look (Ree made hers into shorts while Ro went for one big trendy cuff), adding fun legwarmers, and accenting with wild rubber shoes, including a new pair of Jellies we got at the mall last night. I think it works perfectly, in a crazy sort of a way. And it makes me laugh that I used to wear Jellies and legwarmers in the 80s. Maybe I'll try to dig up an old pic and post it. Anyhow, the big surprise for me is that it turned out to be really relaxing letting go this week and letting the girls have fun with clothes, and I actually really liked all the unique outfits Ro and Ree came up with. Here's a glance back at the last five days (Ro left, Ree right): Show us your kiddo's outfit too: We've had so much fun with this that we're going to make it a regular feature for one day a week going forward. Every friday (starting right now) I'll post a new Fashion Challenge Friday photo (featuring an outfit that Ro and Ree have styled by themselves that week) and ask for a link to an outfit that your kiddo put together. Your picture can be in a blog post or on an image site or emailed to me for posting -- anything goes. One tip: for the linky box below, enter the url of your post about the fashion challenge, rather than the url of your homepage, so visitors don't have to search for your fashion challenge entry. Alrighty, the first Fashion Challenge Friday is now on. Let your kiddo loose in the closet at least one day this week and show us what happens!

1. Snick :) 2. fireworks&fireflies 3. Rylee For Life 4. Qcaller 5. Teresa (Pic #1) 6. Maggie\'s Red Thread

7. Michal 8. Teresa (Pic #2) 9. Stephanie 10. To Sing and Dance 11. Chelley 12. Eight is Great

13. Tina P. 14. Tina P. 15. June 16. Hope Marie 17. Spectacular S

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Fashion Challenge Day 4: I think my inner control-freak is unclenching

Wow, I've gotta say the outfit selection process was pretty painless for Day 4 of the fashion challenge. Maybe I'm just getting used to the idea of letting go, or maybe the girls are better at this than I expected. Maybe a little of both. Ro went first this time (which just about killed her impatient clothes-horse sister). She started gravitating toward another all-pink outfit, and I broke my silence to say one tiny little thing, "Hey Ro, did you know that you can wear more than one color and still match? Different colors can be complementary. It's fun." She must have felt freed by the information, because she grabbed some yellow Gymboree pants and a pink top and a crazy Children's Place sweatshirt that kind of ties it all together in my opinion. Go Ro! Finally Ree got her turn. (Man, she was dying to get in that closet -- I had to chase her out and shush her the whole time Ro was picking because she kept darting in and saying "Pick dis, Ro, dis one good!") She made a beeline for the pink corduroy Hanna Andersson dress she'd almost chosen yesterday. Then she chose light pink Old Navy velour pants and a light pink Olive U long-sleeved shirt for underneath "In case I get cold." I think she was done in about 15 seconds. Maybe she picked everything out in her mind while she was forced to stand outside of the closet? Who knows. Still no yellow for little Miss Sunshine, in case anyone's keeping track. And would you have guessed which girl was which in this photo if I hadn't described their clothes? Rett, a fellow twin mama, asked for a peek into the girls' closet, and I know she's not the only one who wonders what the heck we've got going on in there. So here's a behind-the-blog look at where the girls' clothes are: IN THE CLOSET The girls share a small walk-in closet, which is in Ree's room. I believe the out-of-sight-out-of-mind theory is true, so all of the girls' clothing is here in plain sight, rather than in drawers. And it's all organized the way the girls think because they like to pick things (I want to wear xxx color, I need something with short-sleeves or long-sleeves, I want some pants or a skirt...). It looks like there's a lot of plain white, but most of the white things have appliques or fun graphics. I'm a sucker for a cute/funny white tee. The only items in drawers are PJs and underwear. Off-season stuff that might still fit when the season rolls back around is folded on the shelf -- I usually buy big, so the girls get at least two years out of any item. Easily half of the girls' favorite things (including 4 pieces that they're wearing today) are hand-me-downs from other twinados, which is cute because I still vividly remember the joy I felt receiving boxes of prized hand-me-downs from my older cousins back in the 70s. Their stuff was The Best! IN SHOE AND JACKET BASKETS We've got kid shoe and jacket baskets in the downstairs hall, right by the entry to the garage. We also always keep a set of jackets in the car, because you never know when you'll end up on an unexpected roadtrip to a cold place. The girls pick their shoes and jackets out of these baskets before leaving the house. IN THE SINK Ree and Ro are hard on clothes. I've mentioned that before, right? There is constantly some stainfested item soaking in the laundry room. On the left side of the pic you can see where we keep swimsuits, by the way. The girls have been using them for dress-up clothes lately, so the baskets keep disappearing and we're missing half of the suits. IN THE LAUNDRY Ah, and then there's the laundry. We've got small hampers upstairs, and these ginormous garage bins, which are ALWAYS full. Always. Have I mentioned always? I'd guess that half of the family clothes are here, or hanging on the rod in the laundry room, at any given time. So there you have it, that's where the girls' clothes are and how they're organized. Seems to work for us. Tomorrow is the last day of the Fashion Challenge and I'm not scared anymore -- bring it on!

Day 3: I think I severed my tongue

Alrighty, day 3 of the fashion challenge, and the girls tried to make me cry uncle with their outfit selection process. But I'm proud to say that I bit my tongue and didn't say a dang word as they handed me their somewhat questionable choices. The lengthy outfit assembly took place last night, right before bedtime. Ree was first to make her selections, as usual, but had some difficulty choosing today's outfit. First she picked a new blue peasant t-shirt (I was excited at this choice as it still has the tags on it), then dismissed it and picked a fun pink cordoruy dress, then jammed the dress back on the rack and swapped it for a graphic pink t-shirt, then sort of sighed in exasperation and put that back too. She stood in the middle of the closet for a bit, frowning and looking around, then pounced on a custom brown Etsy pillowcase dress. That started the ball rolling, and she quickly grabbed some electric blue striped pants with attached skirt (I might have let out a little whine at this point), then my favorite brown sock-monkey shirt for underneath (I looked away so she wouldn't see me wince). She happily flounced away and it was sister's turn. Ro briefly surveyed the closet, said "Ummm, I think pink" (shocker, eh?), and went right to her favorite section (the closet is organized by color). She ran a finger over one or two shirts and immediately seized on the pink tie-died winner, then rooted around for a long-sleeve shirt to wear underneath. She found a fuschia one with ruffled shoulders and flared cuffs (eep!) and handed it to me, then picked a summer skirt that she said matched it. She was halfway to the bin of tights when she spied Ree's outfit on the floor and yelled "Mama! Ree wear a skirt and pants?!" When I replied that it was true, she did an aboutface, marched straight to the pants rack and grabbed the pink/orange striped ones saying "Now I match Ree!" Oh gosh, honey, that is just great. Anyhow, when TubaDad got home late last night I told him to prepare for a trainwreck on Day 3. He checked out the outfits, raised an eyebrow, and said laconically "I'll bet Ree will change her mind." No way. Won't happen. Nope. Never. That rowdy outfit was going to preschool, I just knew it... Damn if he wasn't right. Ree woke up this morning, glanced at her wild outfit, complete with etsy dress and sock monkey shirt, and said "Dat not my shirt." Then she ran to the closet and came out with a light pink polka-dotted tee, a bright green and purple jacket, and a big saucy grin. That little minx was just toying with me last night -- I'm certain of it!! Well they were playing with me last night, but, in the end, the girls did pretty well for Day 3 of the fashion challenge. Has anyone else noticed that Ro has been in pink every day so far and Ree hasn't picked one single blasted yellow thing, even though the closet is now stuffed with the sunshiney items she claims to love? Contrary, I tell you, she's contrary! (Everyone in my family is probably nodding their heads right now and saying "Yep, just like her mama.") By the way, I might hide those froggie boots tomorrow -- I'm tired of seeing them leering at me in photos. Heh. ~~~~~~~~ Update, at the end of the day: Thought it might be interesting to show you what the girls look like by the end of the day. It's a pretty typical day, and, as usual, they have played hard.

Day 2: Why was I even bothering to dress them before?

This is the second day of letting the girls run amuck in their closet and pick whatever they want to wear, and I think they assembled some kick-butt outfits! Much more interesting than I would have chosen, and the outfits really show their personalities. Ree went first, and chose a Pumpkin Patch shirt that she liked and then spent quite a bit of time flipping through the racks of clothes to find a long-sleeved undershirt with "some boo" (some blue) from Old Navy and a skirt and tights that had the gray she wanted to go with the shirt. Then she ran downstairs to play and Ro danced into the closet. Ro gravitated immediately toward a brand-new ruffly pink Gymboree skirt then tried and rejected a few tops. She finally chose a little Old Navy flowered long-john top and pink striped tights. I have to admit to cringing while Ro was picking the shirts, but once she got the outfit on I actually loved the contrast of the fancy pink skirt and the sporty long-john shirt. Cute. Once downstairs the girls grabbed some shoes that made us all smile and jauntily posed for a pic or two. Hey this is kinda fun! The girls are having a ball, and I think it might turn out to be just the ticket for this control-freak mama. I'm feeling amused and sort of relaxed right now... Ahhhhh. Wonder what they'll pick out tomorrow?

The five-day fashion experiment

We're going to conduct a fun experiment this week (well at least I hope it's fun). We dragged a little ladder into the girls' closet and told Ro and Ree that they're 100% in charge of what they wear. Usually I "guide" their choices at least a tiny bit, but not this week. That's right, they've got free rein to dress in head-to-toe bubblegum pink (gag), wear flip-flops in the rain, match each other or not, pile on every single favorite thing on one day, or whatever else strikes their fancy. And they won't hear a peep from control-freak mama. (Want to take bets on whether I develop a facial tic by the end?) Here's Day 1, kinda cute, and they definitely had fun: Interesting that they both went for single-color looks (something I never do with them), and both chose the same jacket but in different colors. Ree was happy with the clothing selection, but pointed out that they don't have any blue underwear and it would be really nice if she had some to pick from tomorrow. Gee, sorry. Can't wait to see what they do over the next 4 days...

"Nooooooooooo, I don't wanna chocolate milkshake!"

Wow, didn't think I'd ever hear those words coming from anyone in our family. This time they came from Ro and Ree, and it was because I had the audacity to show up for preschool pickup without their customary snack bags and suggest that we hit the drive-through on the way home and share a milkshake instead. It's just that I was reallyreallyreally tired, so I skipped snack-bag prep just this once and thought the girls wouldn't even notice when offered a rare-but-highly-prized milkshake as a substitute. But instead Ro was near tears and little Ree kept throwing her arms out to the side and saying "no deal, mama, no deal!" It was kinda funny. It got even funnier when the teacher tried in vain to help me out by convincing the girls that milkshakes really were tasty. Ah well... The drama ended when I promised the agitated girls that we'd go right home and make snack bags the second we walked in the door. Sheesh. Won't make that mistake again. I guess they really do count on those little bags o' love. In case you're curious, I make these dang snack bags for every preschool pickup and have since the girls started school (holy moly, I think that's something like 400 snack bags so far!). The ingredients are different each day -- that's half the fun for the girls -- but the types of things are always the same. There's usually some protein, something crunchy, non-sugary cereal as filler, some non-messy fruit or veggie, and a treat. In the beginning, the bags were just another element of the "mama always comes back" concept (see girls, I always come back, and while I'm gone I'm making you little surprise bags!), then later they became a great way to keep the girls awake on the drive home (if they fell asleep in the car, naptime was completely hosed), and then, as the girls became pickier eaters, the bags were a great way for them to get a little nutrition if they turned up their noses at the preschool lunch. In any case, I've always done them, and, if the milkshake riot was any indication, I guess I always will. PS: My mom will complain up a storm if all I post is "a couple of measly pictures of some boring food" so here are a few extra pics of the girls:

There's hardly anything better than a beautiful blue-sky day

The girls are so fascinated by sealife right now that we finally bought a membership to the Monterey Aquarium, and now we're going to get our money's worth, damnit! Heh. Anyhow, this morning we grabbed some roadtrip food, got out of the house as early as we seem to be capable of getting out (8:47, which is ok but we were actually shooting for 8:30, sigh), and were there at the aquarium minutes after it opened. Oh yeah! First stop was the octopus tank (it's all about the octopus for Ro), but the darned creature was sleeping and barely visible all crunched up in the corner. Ro was less than impressed. We assured her that he/she would most certainly wake up later (which actually turned out to be a lie, oops) and hustled the girls on to some more mobile and cooperative fish. It was a fun time, and since we got there early this time we actually got to see the whole aquarium, a huge first for the Salsa Family. I snap a pic of the girls in this gigantic shell every time we visit, and it's kind of fun to see how they change. Ro left, Ree right: Feeding the penguins was really cool. The lady in charge of the talk was interesting and engaging, and when it was time for questions little Ree threw her hand in the air and asked "Why do penguins swim?" Cute: My fave pic of the day. The girls always squeal and dance when the wave crashes over their heads in the wave tunnel: The sky really doesn't get any prettier than this. Wow. Ro (seen here) and Ree barely made it out of the car before they grinned, kicked off their shoes, and plopped down right in the middle of the path: Since we (once again) didn't plan ahead, these were the only sand-toy-like items we could scrounge up in the car. It amuses me that they're playing with a Pringles can, an icecream can, and a water bottle: Sweet beach bums: Oh my gosh, the self-timer on that little purse camera actually worked and the camera stayed balanced on that icecream can without falling over into the sand! I just love this family shot. It's hard to beat a beautiful blue-sky day in the charming town of Monterey. We'll be back soon.

This whole twin thing really is easier with two parents

TubaDad is home, I repeat TubaDad is home! (cue joyous music) The girls have been cute and funny and sweet and all that, but after a week alone with them I am just cooked. They, on the other hand, are more energetic than ever. Yeah, yeah, it's a real shocker, huh? TubaDad had a successful business trip, which was nice, but to be honest what his three girls really wanted to know was what kind of souvenirs he brought home! And boy oh boy he didn't disappoint. He picked out these cool Barcelona t-shirts and fab little dresses for the girls (the dresses are from a Barcelona designer called Desigual which I now lovelovelove), plus an entire shopping bag of international chocolate for me (thank the lord). You know, though, that even with super cute clothes and a whole passel of chocolates flying out of the suitcases, the only souvenirs that Ro and Ree went hog wild over were the little bags of socks and toiletries that the airline provided. Figures. We took the feisty girls to the park today to try and burn off some extra energy, but a couple hours of rigorous climbing and spinning don't seem to have slowed them down at all. Oh well, at least they had fun, even if TubaDad and I didn't quite have the relaxing time on the park bench that we were hoping for. This video shows a few clips of the girls in action -- my favorite part is at the very end where Ree lifts Ro above her head and also where the two of them perform death-defying leaps into the air. (No toddlers or parents were harmed in the making of this video.) We're heading to the Monterey Aquarium tomorrow, to visit Ro's favorite octopus, so if anyone's planning to be there, give a yell.

Well now they've gone and made me cry

TubaDad is still on his business trip in Spain and the girls have now made me cry. And not for the reasons you might suspect. Last night it was finally bedtimeohblessedbedtime and I tucked the girls in, blew kisses to them and all of their mangy stuffed animals, and whispered the same thing I tell them every night, "I love you more than chocolate." Normally they giggle or blow kisses in return, or maybe one of them will squeak out a "nite mama, uv you," but this time I heard "I uv you more dan candy necklisses!" Oh man, Cutest Thing Ever. Well I just couldn't help it, I got all mushy and hugged and snuffled all over them and bedtime was kinda delayed. Funny, tough little girls making me get all sappy like that. Sniff. PS: Voting for the Scholastic Parent & Child mommy blogger contest is ending today, and the Salsa Blog is falling behind... So would you mind popping over there and putting in a vote for our blog? Please? I promise I won't cry anymore. Heh.

Girls' week (and a question)

TubaDad is in Barcelona on business this week (lucky dog!) so we're having a girls' week. Ro and Ree think we're just having loads of fun, but the real reason behind the action-packed schedule is that I know when daddy's away everyone must keep moving or else. When these little darings get bored, all hell breaks loose. They were being all cute and sweet in this pic, but whoooeee they can be ornery, especially when they know that they outnumber the grownups! We're hanging in there ok so far, although last night was a little hairy. (I'm not sure we're going to be welcomed back at the library...) Anyhow, today is a new day, the girls are at preschool right now, and I'm having a cup of tea and regrouping. Before I dig into the threateningly tall laundry pile, here's a recap of our week so far: We've had world-class messes: Seriously, they made this particular mess in two minutes -- just 120 seconds. Their efficiency boggles the mind. Does someone give out a trophy for most-impressive messes, or most-creative destruction of a room, or something like that? Because I'm pretty sure these girls could medal in the Olympic room-destruction event. We've had some healthy food: It's been a while since I've made bentos for the girls and they were so excited to see these little entrees. They yelled "Ooooooooo, mama!" and then "Wow, frozen corn!!!" Heh. Little sweeties gave the lunches four thumbs up and asked for seconds. And yes, the corn really is frozen, they like it that way. Whatever. It's not going to kill them. And we've had some not-so-healthy-but-mama's-real-tired food: Mmmm, tv dinners. They've come a long way since I was a youngin. And yes, they're wearing swimsuits. Again. No we weren't anywhere near a pool. Again. We've had some wildly creative outfits: We've had a little attitude (from all three of us): We've had some dancing on the tables (only at home, thank goodness, but I actually dared to take them to the library after seeing these fierce little faces up on the picnic table -- not my smartest move): And they've spent more time in dress-up clothes than in real clothes: Which leads me to my question. Here's a picture of Ro, the Peanut Butter and Jelly Princess. I absolutely love Ro in this pic, but the bright window was behind her and I screwed up the mechanics of the photo so I'm just not happy with the end result. Can anyone help with some Photoshop magic or some kind of abracadabra post-processing? Come on, go crazy -- anything goes and I'd love to learn some new tricks! The large original is here. Either email your coolest "fixed-it!" photo to me or post it somewhere and leave a link in the comments. I'll put the fixed photos in this Flickr photo set. Thank you! Have a great rest of the week, and send some good thoughts my way because tonight is bath night for the twinados and I don't think I have enough chocolate in the house. Actually I know I don't.

We are really bad planners

But the lack of planning always seems to work out, so I guess we won't be changing any time soon. Saturday morning we woke up, asked Ro and Ree what they felt like doing, then grabbed some roadtrip food and an extra pair of underwear (for the girls, not the grownups) and pointed the minivan toward San Francisco. We ended up at the Aquarium on the Bay (a smallish but totally uncrowded aquarium on the wharf) where we looked in vain for an octopus, and then were tickled to pet a flirty, friendly little bat ray. We ambled down to the end of a really, really long pier and hooted and hollered at the massive sealions. The water out there looked (deceptively) smooth, so we decided at the last second to ride the ferry and raced all the way back down the pier (man oh man am I out of shape) to board the boat just as it was leaving. We finished up with a square of Ghirardelli chocolate and pointed the minivan home. What a gorgeous, sunny, blue-sky day in the city. Bring on that seafood lunch, I'm gonna eat more shrimp that all of you! (and she did): We ike deez pwetty fowyers, mama: Sailing under the Golden Gate bridge, a thrilling first. (What kind of photographer snaps a pic with some random guy's head in it? Sigh...): The girls and TubaDad brought me some water, since I tend to get seasick, but then they drank it all. Oh well, it was a sweet gesture: A really fun day. We'll be sure not to plan more of these kinds of days real soon. PS: Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the thoughtful, awesome suggestions on the previous post. I'm mulling it all over and then it's full-steam ahead with Part 2.

Talking about adoption is hard (part 1)

I feel like I'm admitting a shameful secret, but here's the plain truth: I'm a well-educated, well-spoken, conscientious adoptive parent who has a hard time talking about adoption with my kids.

There, I said it. As much as I'd love to say it's easy and I handle this topic with admirable grace, the reality is that I stumble and stutter and think and rethink what I'm saying to Ro and Ree about adoption, how much information they can handle at their age, and how I'm answering their questions. And our girls are only three years old. Imagine how tough (for all parties) these conversations are going to be when they're five, or seven, or 15?

 What I want:

I want to tell our three-year-olds what adoption means in simple kid-friendly terms, I want to tell them that adopting them was the best thing their father and I have ever done, and I want to find an age-appropriate way to gently introduce topics like their birthparents in China and why they were available for adoption. Shoot, writing all of that was so simple... I wish conversations about these things were that simple also. But they're not, at least for me.

What we've done so far:

We talk about adoption all the time in our family. I guess we've embraced the "Talk early, often, and at an age-appropriate level" way of thinking. It's a good thing, for the girls, but also for us because, frankly, we need the practice. With every conversation we all get a little more comfortable. Luckily, Ro and Ree are young enough right now that we have time to tell their adoption stories, stumble over certain areas, figure out better ways to say what we want to say, and eventually get it right.

Anyhow, we press on, and take every opportunity (either natural or sometimes admittedly forced) to talk about adoption and China and our family, partly because we don't ever want the girls to angrily say "What? We didn't know that -- why didn't you ever tell us?!!" We want the information about our family's beginnings (and the girls' beginnings) to be something that they've just always known. Something we've always talked about. Something that they know their daddy and I are incredibly happy about.

It's been relatively "easy" up to this point:

As much as we talk about adoption with the girls, I've got to say that up to this point our conversations have been fairly high-level. Ro and Ree are young -- so young -- and we've kept our conversations at what we think are age-appropriate levels. That "age appropriate" part is such a judgement call though!

As an example, this is the simple story we tell them of how we met: Once upon a time, your daddy and I really wanted to have a family. We talked and talked about it and then we decided to adopt a child. It was so exciting! We contacted an adoption agency and filled out lots of paperwork. Afterwards, we waited and waited and waited some more. It was a really long wait and we were so anxious... In October of 2005, you girls were born in China, and then our adoption agency sent us your names (Da-Shuang and Xiao-Shuang) and your pictures. Holy moly! We were crazy thrilled that you were twins and couldn't believe we were going to adopt not one but two precious babies! In the pictures that the agency sent us, Baby Da-Shuang (that's you Ro) was wearing a pink outfit and staring right at the camera -- so beautiful and so serious looking. And Baby Xiao-Shuang (that's you Ree) was wearing a blue outfit and a funny little smirk -- so beautiful and a little bit mischievous looking. We were overjoyed, and had a big party with lots of ribs and chocolate to celebrate. We couldn't wait to travel to China to meet our adorable baby girls! As soon as we could, we gathered our families (Wela and BobBob, Ma and Pa), packed our big huge suitcases, and all six of us flew on a looooooong plane ride to China where we got to meet the two of you. You were sad at the beginning, because you didn't know us and we didn't know you and everything was new and scary. For the next two weeks in China, we went to a whole bunch of appointments and meetings and gradually started to adjust to each other as a family. Your daddy and I felt like the luckiest people in the world when we got to adopt you and become a family of four. Finally the last official paper was signed, and the whole family got on a big plane and flew home.

The story changes a bit every time we tell it, depending on what tangents the girls feel like exploring. But that's the gist of it. It gives a pretty accurate glimpse at the level of detail our three-year-olds are interested in right now.

They like to look at all of the pictures from our trip to China, especially ones where they were crying, and to ask questions about what they liked to eat when we first met them, whether they knew how to walk or not, and which toys they played with. (Ro's favorite pic from China is this one that she calls "the orange picture.") I don't think Ro and Ree have any idea what "born" or "adopt" really mean, although we use those terms frequently when we talk to them and they parrot the terms back to us. I think that three-year-olds (at least our three-year-olds) just don't really understand those concepts yet, and that's ok.

We'll continue to tell their stories, and continue to add more information and details every time, whether they completely understand everything or not, and whether they ask questions or not. (We don't wait until they ask questions, because they might not know what to ask, or they might be afraid to ask, particularly as they get older.)

Taking the next step (gulp):

I think we're at a natural point right now to discuss more information with the girls, but it's hard to know what to say. One of their aunts is pregnant, which is thrilling and also gives us a good opportunity to talk a little bit about pregnancy and babies and birthmothers. The girls have asked questions about the baby, they speculate which stuffed animal is the same size as the growing baby right now, they've touched the aunt's tummy trying to feel the baby kick, and their favorite game right now is to put a stuffed animal under their clothes and prance around yelling "I've got a baby in my tummy." It's cute, of course. But in the back of my mind, even as I'm playing the game with them, I'm noodling things over. We've already danced around the question of "Did I grow in your tummy, mama?" but they haven't asked point blank yet. One of them will ask though, today or tomorrow or next month, and even if they don't I have the feeling we should use this as a catalyst to gently introduce the concept of birthparents. I know from experience that I stink at on-the-fly explanations, but can do a pretty decent job of explaining things with some advance thought. This applies to all of the next big topics we'll get into. So TubaDad and I are working on it. When we figure it out we'll add it into the story of how we met the girls.

Please share:

Well that's where we are. I wish I had all the answers and was a natural at these discussions, but I don't and I'm not. So instead here's a request for help. If you've got things figured out, can you share your thoughts on any of these topics:

- DEFINING ADOPTION: What simple, kid-friendly definition of adoption do you use in your family?

- BIRTH PARENTS: How do you discuss your child's birthmother and birthfather? What terms have you settled on (I'm using birthmother and birthfather just for the sake of discussion here). At what age did you start talking to your child about the fact that she had a birthmother/birthfather?

- WHY DIDN'T THEY KEEP ME?: How do you approach (or plan to approach) this topic in your family? What do you say to your child when she asks (in one form or another) "Why did my parents give me up?" How much detail do you go into?

- WHAT OTHER QUESTIONS WOULD YOU LIKE TO DISCUSS?

I titled this post "Part 1" because I'd like for this to be an ongoing discussion. Maybe we could even have a few guest hosts who have this all dialed in for Part 2. I can't be the only person in the world who has an entire bookshelf devoted to adoption and still needs to learn more about this, can I? Anyhow, clearly I need to go reread some of those books, and I also hope to learn from others so that talking about adoption isn't quite as hard.

People are always asking "Do your kids ever get dirty?"

What? Our girls? Oh no, not them, never, they're totally prissy. That was how they looked when I picked them up from preschool today. How about a closer look at that "white" shirt? Oh yeah! Those are Ree's beloved "yehyowe" pants, and it was the first time Ro wore that outfit. Good thing I got it on E-Bay for 99 cents. This is pretty much how all of their clothes look by the end of every single day (days at home, preschool, anywhere). If they're not messy, they just didn't have much fun. Today they gleefully told me they had been making mud pies. I can only imagine what a stellar influence they are on the other children at school (cringe). Hey maybe this would be a good time for a "Teach M3 how to do laundry" segment. Because these types of stains just scoff at my puny attempts at stain fighting. Seriously, how on earth do you get stains off your kids' clothes?